5oFeRo_o says: 我的地盘

在我们的一生之中，会遇到很多人。
而谁才是你的另一半，其实一切早已命中注定。
我自认对你已经用一百分的努力，但是爱情还是不能勉强。

今生你注定了，就是要和纪存希在一起。
你已经不再是以前的便利贴了。

不要再因为害怕而逃避闪躲，不要错过上天对你做最好的安排。

You should be ashamed of yourself

Bus 179 was travelling towards NTU, and apparently the lower deck was already fully loaded while upper deck still had some seats left. 2 stops before 179 entered NTU, the bus driver was forced to reject passengers because there were simply no more space on the lower deck. Whoever got rejected had to be quite eager to get on the bus as the driver had to beg/ask him/her to get off or the bus will not be able to leave.

After the bus left the station(finally), an Angmoh seated somewhere at the back on the upper deck walked towards the stairs and down to the lower deck. And suddenly I heard him say (not in exact words though):" Could you guys move to the upper deck? There are about 20 seats up here and you guys are not letting the other passengers at the bus stop up onto the bus! You should be ashamed of yourself!"

After reprimanding whoever were those that "should be ashamed" of themselves, he walked back upstairs to the back. And a few passengers stream up the stairs to settle down in those empty seats.

Seriously, I was quite taken aback by the entire incident. In fact, I felt ashamed of myself despite the fact that I was not one of those he reprimanded. Reason being, I was ashamed that while I can hear and understand the bus driver perfectly to know that someone was rejected from boarding and yet, I did not take action or even think about doing anything.

The first thing that jumped into my mind was "its an east west thing", but quickly I dismissed that. Its a matter of having the conscience and consciousness towards unjust. Its a matter of courage to attempt to right that unjust. If there is any east/west thing, it should be how we phrase the "request". Whatever it is, we need people who will stand up and do what is deem to be right.

I really respect this Angmoh for having the courage to take action, and it does inspire me to do something when there is a need to.

Ching Man, can you collect your laundry?

I was very offended, when she asked me :"静雯，你可以收衣服吗？" When she asked me this, I just stepped into the house for not more than 10 minutes and is in the midst of removing my contact lenses after a long and tiring day. It was about 7pm.

The thing is, we have house rule. And according to the house rule, Tuesday is my Laundry Day, while Wednesday is hers. When we say Laundry Day, we refer to the day we can hang out our clothes on the bamboo pole so they can be hung dry. So the usual practice is that we do the washing the night before our laundry day and leave it up there the next day and collect them before the next person hang up theirs.

As adults, respect for the house rule should be a duty and responsibility each of us should fulfil. And I thought this is given. By asking me to keep my laundry, I felt that she is insulting my autonomy as an adult. It was as though I had childishly flouted the house rule and she had to remind me in the face, when in fact she has not even put her laundry into the washing machine, and she is already asking me to keep mine. And till now I have always kept my laundry if I was not home late.

For god's sake, 我才刚刚回来诶！And this is her so called respect and consideration? I expressed my displeasure by telling her I have JUST returned, and protested with black face for 2 hours. What added to this displeasure was the fact that I already knew this is not the first time she has done this, she has made request like this to our other residents sharing the flat.

Thinking back, I could have handled this matter better than what I just did. Instead of sulking, I could have replied her question by querying her intention in asking me this question. I believe if she could ask a question like this, either she must have misperceptions for my behavior, or she has problem perceiving the concept of shared resources in this flat. By throwing her question back to her, I could tell to verbalize her assumptions and if they are right, we could work out a solution; if they were faulty, she would discover how silly/rude/ridiculous her question is.

Had wanted to stop and continue the previous post...but my eyelids really dun let me. Goodnight, Blog again tml.

终于有机会停下来，让心情沉淀。

从近半年前开始，发生太多事情，让我停不下来。无法停下来思考，无法停下来呼吸。又或者说这种日子，进大学以后，渐渐习惯起来了。

“时光飞逝”从小学些做文章至今用了17年，终于体会到了什么感觉。那种血液在血管里奔流，放纵青春的感觉，我也感受到了。而人生没有重来，这段奢侈的岁月将不复返。日后可就不能“过得那么充实”了。

到中学去实习，混在一群12-17岁的小孩子当中，我赫然发现自己已经不再青春。23岁的女子，已经逼近25岁大关，朝女性衰老期走去reads斑点、皱纹将开始纠缠我们的年龄大关。在孩子们兴高采烈的欢庆刚过去种宗族和谐日时，我没有他们的那种兴奋和精力，半天下来已经好像老人一样意兴阑珊。如凯今天突然说的，等我们下课回教员室聚会的时候，她和珠走在校园的走道，猛然觉得两人像是住在老人院里悠闲度日的老人，就差没有坐在轮椅上被人推来推去的。

而在感觉到身体上的变化的同时，也赫然发现，思想已和以往大不相同。有很多事情回想自己年少时候的想法，对比现在的想法，就好似换了副眼镜看世界。看着孩子们的行为，试想他们在调皮捣蛋，惹老师发火的时候，小脑袋瓜在想什么，不觉感到好笑。那时候的我，眼睛里所看到，心里头的感受不正适合他们现在的一样吗？无关特选与邻里，只是反应不同而已。

在中正实习的时候，还在用学生的眼光看事情，总是想：老师就非得要板着脸孔吗？学华语就非得不停写习字写它个一百遍吗？所以那个时候，我是友善的，和同学们打成一片的。再次回到中学，但是是平仪中学，近来前后都常常在向很多问题：我该做怎么样的老师？或许是年纪大了，也可能是终于换了角度看事情（我不知道是哪一个？）而且也看到更深远：
一个有着30+++人的班上有3-5“闹事者”（徐老师形容他们为恐怖分子）的话，

• 这3-5闹事者不专心上课，跟不上学业，因觉得学习乏味而陷入恶性循环，继续捣蛋
• 其余25位或积极向学，或被动向学，因为闹事者所已无法好好上课。
• 老师听不见自己的声音，会不自觉心烦气躁，提高嗓门，搞坏肝脏，搞坏声带。

To 严 or not to 严？

进平仪前，我问自己一个问题，学生为什么上学？同一问题的另一面，我们老师存在意义为何？想了好久，我认为作为长辈，不论家长或长辈，根本就是教晚辈怎么处事。父母生养子女，天职是教导他们基本生活，卫生习惯，和别人相处，家庭伦常等，当然这个清单可以无限长。而老师，则是在这个基础上，巩固这些知识，并且准备他们（日后）融入社会，成为社会的（有用的）一分子。

学习数理化、语文，为的是日后融入经济体作准备。于是，一个国家的教育体系重视哪一个科目，就可以想见这个国家的发展方向。华（语）文教学是一个很完美的例子。

所谓的“名校”，不过是其“传统”，是为未来的经济体培养经济体上层成员，即准备入大学、毕业后当医生、律师、经理、政治领袖等——也就是爸妈说的赚大钱的工作。这些人其实只占新加坡人口近四分之一。我其实也是这一群人的一分子。

而“邻里学校”的“传统”，是为培训未来经济体“其余的空缺”的成员的。它们包括护士、服务员、速递员、小贩等等我们日常生活中不可缺少的人——也就是爸妈口中的“没有出息的、出卖劳力的工作”。但是这些所谓的“没有出息的、出卖劳力的”人们却是新加坡的大部分！

未完~